Tis the season for questions about your future: your solution for the tough questions

2 min to read

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This holiday season, you are bound to get questions about your future- whether you are getting married soon or whether you are buying a house soon. Tis the season for Grandma to question if you are planning for your future at all.

Rightfully so, you eventually need to think past Thursday night’s Happy Hour, and maybe you are. But we are hoping the first time you really start to think about buying a house isn’t between bites at Thanksgiving dinner.

So before you squirm and make up an excuse to tell Grandma about how you can’t possibly think about your future yet, try our favorite method: confuse everyone.

Let’s start with an example- when asked when you are going to buy a home, explain that you’ve actually been thinking deep into it, and this is what you’ve found:

Step 1: Ask what kind of phone/browser/software/shoelaces they use.

But when you ask them, ask them in specific names. Such as, “Do you use Chrome or Edge when you connect your iTunes library to your Android device?” When they don’t seem to reply or understand, just name off names as if you are gathering whether or not they will understand the such information you found.

Ask them, “Were you having trouble adjusting to the iOS10 switch, or did you agree with Crunchbase’s evaluation that it made it easier to access your Beats and Lyft userfaces?”

Step 2: Mention every app you have on your phone

Even if they don’t have anything to do with your future, talk about apps. Start explaining that you have used the Waze app to increase your daily productivity, and therefore you are now using that time to look deeper into rental prices on Zumper. Then show everyone your phone and point to all of the apps and just name them off. Claim that every fourth one gives you valuable insight about your finances, especially Duolingo.

Step 3: Explain how an app is doing all of the saving for you.

Make it sound like you use a robot to control your every day. Look right at Grandma and explain that you never think about your money anymore. Tell everyone that you have Siri Venmo your roommate your bills, and that Mint bills does your automatic bill pay. And that you have BoostUp saving $11 a day toward your down payment, but also rounding up every purchase. Casually mention you’re not sure what you even purchase anymore, but that the app just takes your daily scone purchase of $2.45 and rounds it up, and saves the 55 cents for you. That at the end of the month, you don’t know how but somehow $410 ends up saved for your down payment. End the conversation with “cash is dead” and then some stuff about bitcoins.

Now this may backfire, and your family may become very interested in these apps. That is ideally the perfect time to text Grandma a link to your BoostUp page and ask her to donate toward your down payment right there before dessert.